Grounded in Truth: You’re Not Crazy!

…SPEAKING TO VICTIMS OF ABUSE…

Started May 30, 2020
Finished October 18, 2020

You’re a person of sense.  You’re smart.  You’re educated.  You know what truth and facts look like.  You also know when 1+1 isn’t adding up.  So, take a minute and breathe.  Evaluate your situation.  Gather your proof.  Make a mental list of what you can see, feel, and verify in the moment.

Observation #1.
You’re a crying, sobbing mess.

Observation #2.
Your face is wet, and your cheeks are hot.

Observation #3.
Pieces of your hair are matted together and clinging to your face.

Observation #4.
That thumping in your ears is your blood pressure testing the limits of your cardiological circuitry.

Observation #5.
On top of your heart pounding, your lungs are gasping for air, and you are praying this isn’t the onset of true pulmonary distress.

Observation #6.
You ARE…sad, stressed, angry, emotional, feeling alone and maybe even a tad bit off balance.

An unhealthy person will tell you, “I did NOTHING to hurt you.  You don’t have the right to be upset at me.  This is YOUR fault.  Quit turning everything into a big ordeal.  If you weren’t so sensitive, everything would be just fine.”  But this is clearly a misstatement by gargantuan proportions.  Feelings just are, and you ARE hurting right now.  Big time.  No one gets to tell you otherwise.  Irrefutable, undeniable proof is staring back at you in the mirror.  Does this look like someone who’s fine?  Be honest, now.  No, it doesn’t.

If you need more convincing, think about how you’ve been treated by this person.  Example:

An honorable man doesn’t divorce his stay-at-home wife of 10 years, refuse to pay alimony, leave her and the children without transportation, then expect her to drive the kids to school an hour away from her new home every day.  That’s not doable, much less reasonable.

A caring, honest human being doesn’t go racing to the courts to tell the judge “my ex is preventing my children from having an education” WHILE she’s at home at that very moment home schooling the kids, being an awesome mom.  Take note: lies will always damage trust and leave you feeling leery.  That’s a very sane response!

Walking on eggshells, living in a state of apprehension or fear, and/or wondering what minute action will cause the next verbal explosion is not normal.  Your safety matters—mental, spiritual, and physical.  Protect yourself and those around you.

You also have the right to see family and friends on a regular basis, have access to household money, be a part of important decision making in your home, and ask questions without being put down or shamed for opening your mouth or having an opinion.  Don’t downplay the importance of these details.

The list could go on and on, and maybe yours differs a little, but the narrative and intentions are the same.  No logic.  No sensibility.  So, quit trying to make sense out of nonsense.  If these aren’t your monkeys (and, obviously, they aren’t), don’t join the circus!  This is NOT what love/respect/kindness looks like.  Start being honest with yourself.  Be brave.  Bold.  Speak truth into your interactions.  Stay away from negative self talk.

If you’ve been living in chaos for quite some time, if having peace in your life costs you more than you can afford to lose, you may need to hear this.  Listen closely: you are NOT the crazy one in this story!  Stop putting yourself down.  Stop second guessing yourself.  Stop pretending you can’t do this.  You have inside you everything it takes to make a positive life and create healthy relationships.  You are enough.   You are not broken.  God gave you air to breathe and purpose to live.  So, hold on.  You’ve got this.  No matter how dark it seems right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  You are a survivor.  Don’t give up!

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