God Gave Me A Song

“I replied, ‘But my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord’s hand; I will trust God for my reward.’” Isaiah‬ ‭49‬:‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬ Wow! This resonates loudly inside me right now.

I recently wrote a song for a church music contest. Only instructions: the song must include the word “overflowing,” and it must be designed to sing as a group. “I’m not sure that’s in my purview,” I voiced to God. Then I heard the hook somewhere in the back of my mind, followed by words, accompanied by a melody. Convinced God had inspired this composition, I reached out to my former music teacher, Gale Jones Murphy, and she helped lay accompaniment to it. I felt God in every detail.

Then the rejection letter appeared in my email. “After careful consideration and review of all submissions, we regret to inform you that your song was not selected as the theme song for 2025 theme.” Ever felt written off? I did. My brain fought with the words as I read. “We look forward to hearing from you in the future and witnessing the continued growth of your musical journey.” Really? How? How does a person grow when they can’t share their music with anyone else–especially their church family? Praise and worship time isn’t an American-Idol-, America’s-Got-Talent-, or The-Voice-type platform. I felt cut off at the knees, vulnerable and exposed, and for what? Truthfully, I didn’t care about the contest. My focus had never centered around winning. I just wanted to share my song. If it wasn’t going to be used, why had God given it to me? A deep sadness ensued.

Following this news, the mind games brought on by the devil stirred feelings of disgrace and deep confusion for days. Doubt and inner turmoil consumed my thoughts: “You’re almost 50, not young enough for anyone to pour into you any more. You’re washed up and not worth the effort, not important or special enough to be taken seriously. Why do you keep trying?” My inner voice countered with, But You gave me this song, God—didn’t You? Or maybe I misunderstood and just imagined it all. I feel so stupid for putting my heart out there. (Obviously, being in a triggered state, I felt overwhelmed.) Then God opened my eyes to Isaiah 52:6 NLT during my Bible reading. “But I will reveal My name to my people, and they will come to know its power. Then at last they will recognize that I am the One who speaks to them.” The next Facebook post that came into my feed also seemed like a response from God, using my friend Dani Adams, who had no idea of my recent struggles: “No matter what you face or what comes against you, don’t give up. Go after your dreams. Someone somewhere needs your gifts, talents, ideas, vision, and anointing!!”

So, what’s next God? I’m listening.